The 27 Year Old Virgin Man

Written by   (author of Obvious Conclusions)

virgin manI just accidentally stumbled upon a story of the 27 year old virgin man.

I noticed that a post that I had written about the sexual consent form was getting a lot of hits from a certain webpage and I decided to check it out.  The webpage was titled “I’m got tired of waiting until marriage so I started having sex at age 27.”

Obviously, one would assume, given the title of the page, that this was written by a girl.  But it wasn’t…a guy wrote it.

My first thought was really?   You exist?  The 40 Year Old Virgin was a movie my friend, not a call to action or a challenge of any kind.

The person who wrote the post, who goes by the name moneymoron (should we remove the money part?), states:

For various reasons I decided that while I liked going out with girls and making out with them just fine, I wanted to save actual sex for marriage. I managed to make it to age 27 before some stuff changed in my life and I decided I wanted to start having sex. That was 6 months ago.

I applaud people’s decision to maintain control of their own sexuality, especially when their young…like 15. But 27? A 27 year old virgin man? Well, it’s unique, that’s for sure.

Anyway, our 27 year old virgin laments the fact that too many women have STDs and is thinking about re-virginizing himself. Proudly, our virgin says: “I had myself tested for everything right when I made this decision and scored a clean bill of health.” I could have saved you money, virgin man. You do not need an STD test if you have never had sex.

Be that as it may my virgin man, I think you have hit the risk of waiting. Just imagine if you had started earlier. Perhaps, you may have met one of these girls when she was a freshmen in college and a virgin like you. You could have walked down that aisle together as virgins and lived a happy STD-free live together.

But now, my virgin friend, you waited too long. That fresh, college freshmen, is now a well-laid women who’d sooner reveal a tummy tuck than an STD.

Which brings us back to your original statement: Why did you wait?

You say “for various reasons”. Virgin man, that is not a solid enough explanation. You go on to say that you liked going out with girls and “making out with them just fine”. Making out with them just fine?

My virgin friend–especially since you’re a virgin!, there is absolutely no greater joy in the world than the sensual lips of a women. If it was only “just fine”, I have some news for you:

You are batting for the wrong team.

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Richard Cummings

Richard Cummings is writer, traveler, and web content developer.

Get your copy of his latest book entitled Obvious Conclusions, stories of a Midwestern emigrant influenced and corrupted by many years living in San Francisco and abroad. It just received its first outstanding review "...reminiscent of David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs" on Amazon UK.
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Richard CummingsThe 27 Year Old Virgin Man

Comments 6

  1. Travis

    Well this was thoroughly depressing. I too, am a 27 year old virgin male. Just like this guy, I wanted to wait till marriage, but now my belief in that hangs by a thread and I so want to make love to a woman. But now I hear like this guy, I waited too long. I don’t know what to do. I’m not even sure why I waited in the first place.

  2. Nothingface

    I am a 26 year old virgin male.

    I am sick to death of my anxiety and I’ve nearly come to termination over the fact that every loser friend I’ve ever had that wasn’t working, or mobile, or even bathed gets friction on their flesh while I get worms through my spine when the door bell rings.

    I understand that I tremble with intense emotion, but do I speak another language? I guess I really do since my body does most of the talking for me. The only thing that really kills me is just how easy it all appears to be to get a girl. The desire and the sense of self to long for someone is one of the unifying factor for all of man kind and I fail at it. Nearly everything is social and this has obviously led to a lot of failure. Something women smell a mile away.

    I didn’t wait I’m just broken. I am so damn thankful that I am not normal because it simply kills me to know that others can feel this alone and feel also nearly incapable of fixing it. Someone has to be a loser so the rest of you can win.

    Oh well.
    This is all there is and when it is gone it will not be remembered.
    I’ll just keep talking to girls and eventually one will let me embarrass myself to get this over with ffs.

  3. Aaron

    I am a virgin of 25 years. I am waiting for the woman that I want to marry in order to have sex.

    I think the other virgins of their twenties are doing the right thing in waiting instead of having casual sex. It is better to wait, though I know the longing that one feels to have someone to love.

    I have a new friend that I think would make a good girlfriend. Though my practice is to just wait for now and wait until things are “just right” before I marry.

    I believe in obeying God and this condition of waiting for marriage comes from the Bible. It can be O.K. to have sex consensually before marriage but only if the couple gets married after having sex.

  4. Kate

    And I am a 26 year old woman, and a virgin. I am not waiting for marriage. I got busy growing the career, finishing school, etc… and woke up one morning, ‘Hell, M**turbating ain’t doing it for me anymore.” So I started waiting for the right dude. Still waiting. Look, I don’t want a virgin man, so buzz off if you are. I want a well laid dude, disease free required. Thanks.

  5. Matt

    I’m a 23 year old virgin male. I don’t wait for anything, i’m just, not so atractive and plain bad for talk with women, and when i finally talk with a girl i’m instantly friend-zone. At this point, of course, really don’t care, now, i’m focusing on my career and art, and I hope, really hope, that when the time comes (if ever) i can be prepared …

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