Today I am going to have a look at money versus beauty.
A man’s money? A woman’s beauty? Which is more important in a relationship? It’s the money vs beauty debate. Let’s go!
I was inspired to think about this money versus beauty debate after a conversation that recently took place at a dinner party.
My friends told me of a particular New York Craigslist post the other night that I had not seen.
In the post, a “spectacularly beautiful” woman requests a man who earns greater than $500,000 a year.
A man responds to her that her beauty is a “depreciating asset” while his money will continue to grow. His response garnered much attention.
I searched the Internet to find this post and bring it those of you who have not seen it.
Without further ado, I bring you the spectacularly beautiful women who wants a rich man and the man who views her, at best, as someone to date in the short term. You can read my thoughts below.
Craigslist: Post from Woman Who Wants a Rich Man
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
– Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
– Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?
– Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
– How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
The Rich Man’s Response
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
Money Versus Beauty: The Certain Loser
The exchange between these two highlights a classic standoff: money versus beauty; Specifically, a man’s money versus a women’s beauty.
Many would label the woman below a gold-digger, as she has in essence set a price for herself. By setting a price, one might justifiably say that she has all the characteristics of a prostitute.
Her argument is essentially: Is it wrong for a woman to want a certain quality of life? We must acknowledge though, in her post, that she is gaining this quality of life off of the sweat of his back.
In the man’s response, many might say he is being rude. However, consider his most poignant statement: “If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out.” Does this not make perfect sense?
The reason for the popularity of this post is because it perfectly presents what many would say is a societal injustice. A man will likely earn more money, and many would even say even get more attractive (or more dignified looking) as he ages. A women may earn more money but her youthful beauty will fade. As the man above expresses, she becomes a depreciating asset.
We see it everywhere: Men trading in their older wives for young trophy wives.
The woman in this Craigslist post will surely end up with a man who will dump her after she reaches a certain age. (However, I would not be surprised if she got a man because of this article.) She lists her beauty as her main asset and, when that’s gone, her hubby will trade her in for the new model. However, there is a bright side for her…she’ll probably get rich in the process.
Money Versus Beauty: The Conclusion
If you’re considering money versus beauty in the context of any relationship, there is one certain loser, which is neither money nor beauty; it’s the relationship!
Richard Cummings
Get your copy of his latest book entitled Obvious Conclusions, stories of a Midwestern emigrant influenced and corrupted by many years living in San Francisco and abroad. It just received its first outstanding review "...reminiscent of David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs" on Amazon UK.
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Comments 6
This can all be explained by evolutionary psychology. Historically women have been less able to protect/provide for their family, and so it’s programmed in them to look for a man with more resources. In ancient times this might have meant a good hunter or farmer.
On the other side, men look for women with certain standards of beauty because they’re indicators of good reproductive health. Things like youth, hip-waist ratio, and healthy hair and skin.
The rich guy has a point, but beautiful lady should point out that if he marries her and has kids, those kids are going to be healthy and have her ‘pretty genes’ and so his genes have a better chance of surviving longer.
None of this will matter when the robot apocalypse comes.. it will wipe everyone out. Rich, poor, beautiful, ugly.. robots don’t care.
Awesome craigs post, awesome article.
I’d weigh in with:
As human beings, all of us have access to all sides of life. Period. Women have demonstrated they can do everything men can, and men have certainly shone their sensitive feminine sides when need be. Many people have very equal, back-and-forth, 50/50 relationships.
That being said, it’s kind of boring.
Many people LOVE having the beauty in their lives coming through a female-partner. Many people LOVE having backbone/drive/wealth of the relationship coming through the male-partner. This can be a beautiful balance or complement (Jay-Z + Beyonce come to mind, as do Donald Trump and Melania Knauss) , or it can be a nightmare, depending on the people involved.
Now with the two people above posting on craigs about relationships seen through this single issue of money/beauty, it occurs to me that they both maybe missing the forest for the trees. Human beings are far, far, far more than money and/or beauty.
All women are gold diggers, the difference being that the cleaner is after a few ounces while the doctor is after dozens of pounds. At the end of the day, there’s a girl for every dude’s pocket, no matter how broke he may be, so guys should stop complaining about gold diggers.
I came upon this article really late but I have to say I really LOVE the guy’s reply!But I can no longer find it on craigslist. If anyone can please give me a link.
If I were a guy I’d marry him – I mean, if I were a guy and he were the girl, I’d marry him if I got the chance to know him. Coz if I were a guy I’d definitely make as much or more money than he does and I want someone who has a healthy view of money the way he does. I love his perspective. If he were my wife I’d know that he would be someone who understands, values and appreciates money and who uses and sees money for what it is instead of what it is not. He would make a great wife – those kinds of plain women rich men marry.
Anyway, as for the “spectacularly beautiful” girl – if she has to write that, she has just lost all classiness.
Since the guy didn’t answer her other questions on how to find these men, then let me attempt to answer them here : (I am female, though!)
She dated a businessman who makes up to 250k and she hits a ceiling. Reason : she herself is only capable of expanding to an income of 250k. Like attracts like. The reason less attractive women are capable of attracting richer men is because they have a richer-person mindset. Same money-potential wavelengths – makes any sense?
Truly rich men are where they are as a combination of courage, hard work, smarts, perseverance, vision, focus, being smart with money, pushing themselves, have self-esteem, etc. They are not rich as an accident : they become rich because of the total package/ mindset that they have. Men who can make money and hold on to money and who have the healthy self-esteem to grow their money surely want more out of a relationship than just being used – because they have healthy self-esteem and a great mindset.
A man with a great mindset will never hold on to a woman with such a poor mindset / 250k limit mindset. When I say, “rich-person mindset” it doesn’t necessarily mean the “plain wives” already make as much money as their rich husbands but they possess the capacity to.
And that is why the rich men marry these women as long-term investments : they know that these women, though plain, will understand their mindset, will understand what it takes to make money, will spend with purpose, even if the pricetags seem like luxuries to other people. That is where you get the saying, “Behind every successful man is a woman.”
Sometimes at the point of marriage the man is already wealthy. After a certain level, say, 500K per year or more, people no longer work for the money : they work to challenge themselves, up their game, and the money they make is just as a kind of keeping score. After a certain amount you no longer make money to buy more things coz you pretty much have bought whatever you needed and wanted.
To continue his game, he needs someone who shares his mindset, especially with regards to financial potential / capacity. Marrying the right woman will help him with that – a woman with a mental potential of that much money.
Whether a man started poor, working class or wealthy, I am pretty sure that marrying the right woman can determine his financial success. She will give him a drive, a loving, supportive, no-nonsense reasons, to make more money.
Behind every successful man is truly, a woman. (straight or gay version)
It is true that her beauty is rapidly fading; in fact at age 25 she has already lost much of it. She should have been looking at age 17 or 18 when she had maximum time beauty value. That is when she was a buy and hold.
There is a reason that freshmen girls are the most desirable in college; that most fashion models are teenagers and most retire by age 20 and they are no longer in demand. At 20, they sell it; at 30, they give it away; and, at40 they buy it.