the bachelor in bed episode 3

The Bachelor Episode 3 Recap: 10 Critically Meaningless Observations

Written by   (author of Obvious Conclusions)

The Bachelor Episode 3 is now in the books. We all spent another 2 hours Monday night enjoying this delectable detour in our lives that serves up little substance but lots of sugary treats to begin our week. Jade went in for the kill (take a look above!), our Kim-K look-a-like got the hot tub snub, and Jimmy Kimmel had questions about just one thing.

In case you’re not caught up (for shame!), before we delve into episode 3 details, you can see all the Bachelorettes that started the show on our episode 1 Bachelor recap page. There we mark a little “X” as girls get knocked off the show. And, here is our Epidsode 2 Bachelor breakdown.

Which brings us to this week’s Episode 3 recap: 10 Observations That You Simply Can’t Do Without. Ok, maybe you can do without them, but why bother? People endlessly search for useless information and are constantly looking for things to do when they’re bored. So, there’s no better time than now to feed the mind with delightful drivel–let’s get it on!

10 Absolutely Meaningless Take-a-Ways from Episode 3 of the Bachelor with Chris Soules

Bachelor Episode 3 Lesson 1

Jimmy Kimmel may not be gettin’ enough at home.

I think Jimmy Kimmel’s great and provided an added boost to Episode 3 of The Bachelor. But, I have this question: Did he say two sentences without one of them being about sex?

Bachelor Episode 3 Lesson 2

Life as a pseudo Kim Kardashian look-a-like can be disappointingly un Kim-K like.

As I wrote in my episode 1 review, Ashley I has big shoes to live up to being a self-proclaimed Kim K look-a-like. Unfortunately, it’s not the shoes she lacks…it’s the other assets. Do you think Kim has ever been turned away when entering a hottub?

Bachelor Episode 3 Lesson 3

Some bikinis are TOO ADULT for prime time TV.

What is going on with Jillian…they keep “blacking out” the bottom part of her bikini. Either it’s too risque for prime time TV (which is kind of hard to believe) or that treasure trail extends well beyond the confines of the bikini. I want the unedited version!!!

Bachelor Episode 3 Lesson 4

Men get turned on by women milking goats.

Agreed. Men get turned on by almost anything. Especially Jimmy Kimmel (refer to #1).

Bachelor Episode 3 Lesson 5

You can crash a wedding with a zillion cameras and nobody suspects a thing.

Seriously? I know it was nighttime and they probably tried to be discrete but…seriously? Nobody at that wedding recognized them or the zillion cameras filming them?

Bachelor Episode 3 Lesson 6

There should be a new Twitter tag: #FantasySuiteAwareness.

Got to give props to Kaitlyn for saying that she would be understanding when, months down the line, she discovers that Chris slept with other women in the fantasy suite. Then, she brought up the idea that women can do that too and both Chris and Jimmy were like Uhhhh…Nope…doesn’t work that way.

Bachelor Episode 3 Lesson 7

A non-kiss also seals a rose!

Also big-ups to Becca who took a clever, pleasure-denying, traditional, reverse psychology approach to the whole kiss thing. While clearly a full on make-out session just before the rose ceremony gets you a rose (especially Jade–you sexy voracious bed jumping vixen), apparently a non-kiss works too. Keep ‘em guessing…worked for one show but we’ll see how long that lasts.

Bachelor Episode 3 Lesson 8

Crazy works!

Crazy Ashley S is still there! Even Chris Harrison can’t figure this one out.

Bachelor Episode 3 Lesson 9

Cheerleaders need to do NOTHING to stay on The Bachelor!

There is a girl Nikki (see her bachelorette photo this page) who is still there. Who is she, you ask? She’s the girl who we have hardly seen or heard from at all. But…she’s a hot cheerleader. Nuff said!

Bachelor Episode 3 Lesson 10

You CAN be a man-whore and a gentlemen at the same time!

I don’t know how Chris is doing it. He’s full on hittin’ it with all of these girls and yet still comes across as a wholesome, quality gentlemen.

Some Good Links on Episode 3 Bachelor Recaps

The Naughty Mommy takes a look at the Top 10 Cringe-Worthy Moments from The Bachelor Last Night.

The Huff Post takes a look at 9 Lessons From ‘The Bachelor’ Season 19, Episode 3 (one of which is that gender equality is dead) and the gives us the best tweets about the episode.

Oooh, and you definitely want to read Chris Soules On Why He Gave ‘Crazy’ Ashley S. Another Chance!

The Women Kicked Off Episode 3 of the Bachelor

Finally, let’s take one final look at the 3 girls who didn’t make the cut: Amber, Tracy, & Trina. Goodbye Ladies and good luck!

Watch The Bachelor Episode 3 Online

If you missed Episode 3 of The Bachelor, or simply want to see Jade work her bedside magic with Chris one more time, you can watch The Bachelor, Episode 3 at ABC Online.

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Richard Cummings

Richard Cummings is writer, traveler, and web content developer.

Get your copy of his latest book entitled Obvious Conclusions, stories of a Midwestern emigrant influenced and corrupted by many years living in San Francisco and abroad. It just received its first outstanding review "...reminiscent of David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs" on Amazon UK.
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