Tigers Woods Human After All: Golf, Infidelity, and Voicemails?

Written by   (author of Obvious Conclusions)

The story of Tiger Woods has become a story much larger than the game of golf. We once thought that Tiger Woods was simply about the game of golf and, outside of the golf course, he was a loving, family man…now we know much more. Read below about what happened to Tiger Woods, view pictures of Tiger Woods’ mansion, his wife Elin Nordegren, and his ever-increasing list of women.

I pride myself on decorum and like to think that I am above all of this tawdry speculation about what really happened with Tiger Woods.  Are you kidding me?  Let’s have at it!

First, as we explore this situation, let me say that one reason that I always root for Phil Mickelson over Tiger Woods is that Tiger is too perfect, robotic like in his quest for championships.  Phil Mickelson has always been his human counterpart and when he wins it is like a human victory over a robot.

If anything, this Tiger Woods situation makes me like him more.  It makes him more human.  In fact, Tiger Woods even admitted to it, albeit with robotic-like precision:  “I’m human and I’m not perfect” is what he said, almost as if he was surprising himself with this statement.

Why else would I want to write about the Tiger Woods incident and alleged affairs?   There is A LOT of hot babes involved and more seemingly coming through the “wood” work (all puns intended). :)

The whole story begins so humbly, so lovingly.  See photo below:

Tiger Woods Elin Nordegren Car Crash Infidelity

However, not all is as it appears.

Two days before this idyllic Thanksgiving setting a news report surfaces that Tiger Woods has a mistress, one Rachel Uchitel (see photos below).

Rachel Uchitel Photos

Below, you will find photos of Rachel Uchitel in various locales.

Tiger Woods Mistress Rachel UchitelRachel Uchitel Tiger's GirlfriendRachel Uchitel hires attorney gloria allredRachel Uchitel PhotosRachel Uchitel Bikini PhotosRachel Uchitel Party Photos

Rachel Uchitel, who has already “lawyer-ed up” with that nuisance Gloria Allred, is a reputed “New York Party” gal is rumored to have dated famous baseball players, broadway stars, and David Boreanaz, who many say she was two-timing Tiger Woods with.  Of late, she works at a Las Vegas Night Club and is known for her ability to bring in the A-Listers.  I’m sure!

Elin Nordegren Photos: Wife of Tiger Woods

Now, there are many of us who look at pictures of Tiger Woods’ wife and think it would be impossible to cheat on her.  Let’s take another at more photos since we’re at it.

Elin Nordegren Bikini PhotoElin Nordegren in Yellow BikiniElin Nordegren on golf courseElin Nordegren Tiger's Affair

Now, how could anybody cheat on that, one asks?  For us mere mortals, we may think it cannot get any better.  But we’re not Tiger Woods.

Chris Rock has said that “men are as faithful as their options.”  Tiger Woods has endless options.

However, I must admit that I am a little disappointed in Tiger’s choice.  A nightclub hostess?  Granted, she is semi-hot but she’s an obvious floozy who will sell her non-existent soul to the highest bidder.

I have to say, Tiger, I am disappointed in your choices.  But this article is about you being human…and we all make mistakes (wait, I just looked at her pictures again and changed my mind :) ).

Or, this could all be speculation.  Highly coincidental though, don’t you think?

Tiger Woods Incident: Fact for Fiction

So, let’s set the scene of our ostensibly tranquil dinner in Windermere, Florida at the home of Tiger Woods.

Beautiful wife Elin Nordegren is preparing Thanksgiving dinner.  Elin is a former Swedish model and au pair, that is French for babysitter.  (She may be the only babysitter with her own Wikipedia page.)    She has a twin sister who looks exactly like her–drop dead gorgeous Swedish beauty.  One has to wonder if Tiger has ever suggested…  Oh, stop, don’t tell me it wouldn’t cross your mind.

Both Elen and her sister worked for golfer Jesper Parnevik as au pairs.  After realizing how stupid she was for allowing him to have two Swedish models as au pairs, Jesper’s wife allegedly (by me :) )said, “Get them out of here” and thought What the hell was I thinking?  On a sidenote, Jesper’s career has drastically declined and he has not had a smile since the day the girls left.

Elin Nordegren and Twin Sister

Elin Nordegren and her twin sister

Don’t tell me Tiger never thought of…

Ok, moving on.  Elin is preparing Thanksgiving dinner and she is pissed because she has heard of the alleged affair in the National Enquirer.  Though she is an au pair by trade–or perhaps because she is an au pair by trade–she knows what’s up.  What Las Vegas club girl just happens to be in Australia at the same time her husband is there playing a tournament?  Elin’s no dummy.  When she was an au pair, all of her overseas adventures were financed by her lovers.  She knows what’s up.

So, they sit down at Thanksgiving dinner and she cannot contain herself.  The next we know is that Tiger Woods is found unconscious in the street.

Ah, the humanity of it all.  Did Tiger actually have an affair?  Men are as faithful as their options, Tiger may have been thinking as he lay in a semi-conscious state on the pavement.

Chris Rock on Tiger Woods: Stay Out of It?

What does Chris Rock think on the matter?  Strangely, he does not think the matter should involve the press.  In an interview before the Gotham Independent Film Awards, Chris Rock said the following:

MTV Shows

Since when would Chris Rock not get involved in a matter?  He always gets involved…unless perhaps he can identify a little to closely with the subject.

But back to Tiger Woods alleged incident.  What do we know happened?

Here’s is what is claimed:  Tiger Woods was found unconscious outside of his car at 2:30 Friday morning (Thanksgiving night) after his car hit a fire hydrant and a neighbor’s tree.  Here’s is an overhead picture of his house so you can get a view of the scene.

photo of Tiger Woods mansion in Windemere Florida

After the incident, “The wife of the world’s No.1 golfer Tiger Woods used one of his tools — a golf club — to smash open a window of his SUV and then pulled him out of the damaged vehicle after an early-morning accident Friday outside their Isleworth mansion.”

Tiger was reportedly unconscious for about six minutes laying on the ground with blood coming from his lips and mouth.  Elin told the officers that she heard the accident and came outside with a golf club and smashed the back windows (not the front), removed Tiger from the car, and laid him on the ground.

elin nordegran in blue jeans and t-shirtHmmm…why the back windows?  Does Tiger not drive in the front seat?  Remember what she looks like.  (Here she is again to your left–WOW!).  She’s not exactly an overwhelmingly strong woman.  So, the story is that she smashes the back window, drags Tiger’s body over the front seat, into the back seat, and out of the Window?

Not likely.  If the story is true, she probably ran out with the golf club, smashed the back window to get into the car, unlocked the front door, and then dragged him to the pavement.

There has been a “back window” theory surfacing everywhere about why she broke the back window and not the front.

To me, this one is a no-brainer.  If the love of your life is in a car wreck, and he is in the front seat, and you are going to smash in a window with the golf club, you are NOT GOING TO SMASH THE WINDOW THAT IS RIGHT NEXT TO HIS HEAD.

So, people should get over the back-window gate conspiracy theory.

A better question might be:  Why did she have the golf club in the first place?

When you hear that your husband is in a car crash outside, do you immediately think, “Oh, I better bring a golf club out with me?”

Of course, all of this is speculation because Tiger has not said anything aside from a benign statement on his website.  In fact, he denied three requests by Florida police to talk to them.

This, and the alleged affair just two days before, is why there is so much speculation.  If he would have said publicly what happened in detail, none of this would be news.

Now, tawdry speculation abounds.

An alternative theory to the Tiger Woods accident is this one put forth by TMZ.com (which seems very plausible to me):  Elin confronts Tiger about his infidelities, she scratches him in the face (ergo the facial wounds), he is like, “I’m gonna get the f*** out of here”, and she chases, swinging all the time with the golf club.

Makes sense doesn’t it?

But this is not the real juicy follow-up.  Things are even more interesting now because…

Tiger Is Having An Affair with Another Woman: Jaimee Grubbs

Yes, apparently, Tiger is having another affair.  Of course, this is all allegedly ;) .  But it is still important because we can find pictures of another hottie.  US magazine reports that Tiger Woods is having an affair with Jaimee Grubbs, a VH1 reality star.

Photos of Jaimee Grubbs

Tiger Woods Jaimee GrubbsJaimee Grubbs VH1 PhotoJaimee Grubbs Tiger Woods Cheating?

According to US Magazine, they can back up their story with over 300 text messages and voicemails from Tiger, one as recently as November 24th.

We will have to wait to see how this story develops.

Tiger Woods Golf,  Infidelity, and Voicemails:  Summary

Joe Sports Fan is running a poll asking:  Has your image of Tiger Woods changed?

My opinion of Tiger Woods has changed, but not necessarily for the worse.  He has exposed frailty, a human condition that I did not know he had.

Do I think he screwed up?  Absolutely!  Royally, really!

I don’t think that the accident went down like they said.  I think Elin learned about the alleged affair and went ape-s**t on Tiger and it probably occurred more as TMZ reported.

Now, with Tiger’s new reported affair with Jaimee Grubbs–especially if the text messages and voicemails can be proven–his domestic life will certainly lack tranquilty.

On my end, as a golf fan, it will be interesting to see where all of this leads professionally.  Tiger has always been able to focus on the golf course independent of developments outside the ropes.

But he has never faced this scrutiny.

His year in golf will be interesting.  Will his frailty transfer to his on-course golf performance or will he maintain his robotic-like brilliance.

Only time will tell…and I’ll be watching!

More Links on Tiger Woods, Golf, and Infidelity

This page has all the links that you can possibly read about Tiger Woods and his purported affairs with Rachel Uchitel and Jaimee Grubbs…and now many others!

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Richard Cummings

Richard Cummings is writer, traveler, and web content developer.

Get your copy of his latest book entitled Obvious Conclusions, stories of a Midwestern emigrant influenced and corrupted by many years living in San Francisco and abroad. It just received its first outstanding review "...reminiscent of David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs" on Amazon UK.
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Richard CummingsTigers Woods Human After All: Golf, Infidelity, and Voicemails?

Comments 29

  1. DEP

    Someone once told me “it doesn’t matter how hot the girl is, there is always a guy who is tired of banging her”. Tiger seems to have confirmed this. To quote a New Orleans cabbie, “he’s just a man”. Oh, and by the way, women cheat as just much as, if not more than, their male counterparts.

  2. lisa

    I’ve never liked Tiger Woods. He’s always seemed to me to have an unappealing “holier than thou” attitude. Now he has the same attitude AND he’s a fraud so I like him even less.

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  4. A.M.

    What the HECK does the wife’s appearance have to do with it?! I’m so sick of reading “with a woman this beautiful, why would a man cheat?” Good lord! That’s so sexist!!!

  5. cattail

    Woods like many others got a taste of money and he thinks he can do whatever he pleases.
    Maybe so, but if you got tired of married life, end all there is like a gentleman and then go make a fool of yourself in front of the world.
    His late actions shows he married her for her looks and not because he was in love with her at all.
    When you really love somebody you don’t drag them in front of the media and public scandals.

    I hope he is man enough to end the marriage and let Elin go on with her life. It will be bad enough for her that he will be constantly in her life for the sake of their two children.

    Disgraceful

    PS. I am sorry… for, she used the wrong club and the wrong window.

  6. A Sista

    Tigers biggest problem is that he is not a culturally well rounded man.

    You see if he had some sistas in his life this would neva have happened. I mean one with some class. We all make mistakes but all of the women he chose to sleep with had absolutly no class. A sista would have taken care of him and non of her friends would have jeopardized him, their friendship, or his marriage.

    He young and will learn from this. Elin should stay with her man and they will grow stronger, cause if she let him go he will grow up but without her and preferably a sista.

    Im jus sayin!

  7. Cleareye

    Woods is a common man except he has been taught to hit a small ball in a straight line. What’s the big deal? He will continue to make many mistakes that will cost his children a great deal emotionally. So common.

  8. Da Vision

    Tiger is a human being and I agree with the people below who say women cheat as much as men. Tiger needs to respect the fact that he is the father of two kids and that is more important. He needs more things to do obviously because he has time to spend with other women. Elin needs to give him more things to do.

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  14. PUBLICUS

    He’s a golfer, he cheated on his wife. This becomes news of natonal importance? For the love of God, get a grip America.

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  16. jUST mE!

    He should have another chance,I I feel he he will never do anything like this again!
    Fame,money and all this got to his head!

    I just think he is a new man! A changed man!

    But only time will change!
    That’s how I f feel!

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  18. Roduhsanga

    Tiger Wood is totally unfaithful to his wife as well as to God. I would like him to remember that-“When character is lost, everything is lost” Further let him know that -MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING!

  19. Roduhsanga

    I advise Tiger Woods to read a Bible and follow it.Let him quit his game and start a normal life. Though he is rich but he may be-The most Miserable.I am very very surprise why Elin wanted to marry Tiger, is this marriage a COMMMERCIAL LOVE? that is LOVE FOR MONEY?

  20. Roduhsanga

    I advised Elin Nordegren to come to Mizoram (India) so that to let her know what is life.She has to learnt from this part of the world.

  21. William

    Woods is just a man living a dream. The difference between him and any other man is that he actually lives his fantasies, one at a time, or more occasionally. His wife knew what she was getting. It’s the kids that are the losers.

  22. Sam Okorafor

    The foundation of the marriage was faulty, so, there was nothing they (both) could do about it. I wonder if they have the knowledge of the almighty God at all. I felt bad when i discovered that Elin Nordegren equally came from a separated home. her mother, Barbro Holmberg had her (Elin), Josefin and Axel for Thomas Nordegren who was or is her second husband. So, if she was wise enough, she would have fought that demonic ancestral spirit through sincere, effective and fervent prayer. Nevermind, may i tell them that there’s still hope for them; it’s not over yet. they can still come together as husband and wife by the love of Jesus Christ; yes it’s possible.

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  24. lisa

    Elin is by no means an Angel !! She used to pose showing off her body for $$$money$$$$ Tiger and Elin made a good couple… same caliber…. Tiger likes them WILD and SLUTTY ! That is what he got… He will E A S I L Y replace her… and even better. Maybe next time he will be more mature and want to settle down and then chose one more educated, with more CLASS.

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