We’ve got all of the women from The Bachelor Season 19 with Chris Soules right here on one page. We’ll tell you who’s in, who’s out, who’s hot, and who’s not. Let’s get started! (Note: An “X” next to a name means ELIMINATED and the # marks the episode.)
Alissa (X-2)
On Alissa’s Bachelorette profile page, she says that her most embarrassing moment was “stalking a guy’s Facebook page and sent my friend a long, detailed text about my findings…except I sent it to him.” On the first episode, Chris went for a drunk and a psycho, I guess a stalker would fit right in.
Amber (X-3)
I liked Amber from the first moment I saw her. Chris, she’s a bartender from Chicago, a great Midwestern city! Do you really think these dainty California girls can stomach life on the Iowa farm for more than a day before they ask “Like, where’s the beach?” Plus, Amber’s a bartender whose favorite movies are The Lion King and Reservoir Dogs–a perfect combination of sweet and sadistic.
Amanda (X-1)
Oh, poor Amanda. She’s just sitting there with those big eyes waiting to be picked and she gets dissed in favor of drunk Tara who can scarcely stand up. I felt bad for her…until I watched this video and realized that her sense of being was a bit shallow. Plus, if heredity factors in, she might not age well.
Ashley I (X-6)
Ashley I is the Kim Kardashian look-a-like. As a huge fan of the look of Kim, this is a tough comparison. Kim is famous for her curves and Ashley ain’t got those curves. However, in checking out her Instagram photos, I got to say, she’s lookin’ pretty good. However, Ashley I on an Iowa farm? I think not…what do you think?
Ashley S (X-4)
Well, this Auburn graduate made a memorable appearance on the first episode of The Bachelor. Many, including myself, were surprised that Chris gave her a rose after her awkward rose intrusion and onion rambling philosophical absurdities. With Ashley S still on the show, drama and dimwit diatribes are sure to continue. She’ll make for some good TV.
Becca (X-11)
Becca is a native of Shreveport, La and, in my book, all southern girls (especially ones from Louisiana) deserve consideration–they know how to treat a man. However, I’m not sure why Becca doesn’t really do it for me…it’s like she has all the right pieces but they don’t fit together very well.
Bo (X-1)
Letting Bo go may have been the biggest mistake in episode 1 by Bachelor Chris. Hello? She’s a hot surfer from Santa Barbara. Her occupation is listed as “Plus Size Model”. If this is what is considered “Plus Size” these days, I’ll take it everytime. Check out these images of Bo to see what Chris missed out on!
Britt (X-8/9)
Brit, well here we go. This show might be over before it’s begun. Britt is way hot and clearly made the best impression on Chris. However, I’m not sure, in the end, if she’s right for Chris. He doesn’t strike me as someone who bothers with deep-thought and she’s a huge fan of David Foster Wallace and great literature. This would never work. She needs someone like me who writes books!
Brittany (X-1)
Another stupid send-off on Chris’s behalf. Would you just look at that photo…and that outfit? Plus, she’s a WWE Diva-In-Training. And let’s face it: Chris is not the sharpest tool in the shed. A WWE chick may be just right for him. The first show is about keeping the hotties and those with seemingly great personalities. She’s fits the former Chris–you missed out.
Carly (X-8/9)
All the local stations and websites are so excited to have one of their girls be on The Bachelor. Carly from Arlington is no exception. Unfortunately, she was unexceptional with that exceptionally dorky karaoke entry. Sorry Carly…you’d be on my to go list immediately. Chris might realize this by episode 2.
Jade (X-8/9)
Jade didn’t bowl me over but she had some sort of appeal. However, I’m not sure how she’d react to being a farmer’s wife in Iowa given that she’s a cosmetics developer. Plus, she uses big words and, like Britt, enjoys reading–her favorite fictional character is Jane Eyre. Would Chris have heard of Jane Ayre or is air what flows readily from ear-to-ear?
Jillian (X-4)
Here’s the thing: Many women will say “Men are intimated by my strength”. Normally, it’s not that; it’s that your no fun. Jillian has lots of physical strength and some mental power too–she works as a News Producer and seems to be a good bit of fun. I think Chris might bore her eventually…there’s only so much news that germinates on a farm.
Jordan (X-2)
She brought Chris a bottle of whiskey; enough said–keeper! But let’s say more because she did on her Bachelorette profile page: “Give him a sexy dance because it would turn him on and hopefully lead to more.” I hope Chris gets a chance to read that.
Juelia (X-4)
I kind of like Juelia’s looks but either she did not have too much screen time on episode 1 or she did not make an impression. Would she go well with Chris? Well, she lives in Portland which means she likes the outdoors because they’re all natury up there. However, Iowa’s a far cry from Portland, geographical and culturally. We’ll have to monitor this one to see if she shows up next week.
Kaitlyn (X-10)
Kaitlyn is a great example of the girl who takes it too far. I loved her introductory line: “You can plow the sh*t out of my field any day.” Then, she went on to tell the “break the ice” joke about the tight seal. I definitely like her on the show but you’d probably tire of her antiques quickly in a relationship.
Kara (X-1)
Gonzo at the end of the show. She made no impression on me nor on Chris apparently. My only thought was: Is she really 25? She seemed to dress and act as if she’s a 45 year old mother.
Kelsey (X-6)
Oh, Kelsey, she’s so cute and she has those dimples just like Chris. She seemed like the most genuine woman on the show and, as a young widow (life is unfair!), deserves a great love. Life took and it’s time to give back. She has a shot if Chris is thinking with his proper head.
Kimberly (X-2)
It should be a top ten rule in life. Advice from all fathers to all sons: “If a yoga instructor is interested in you, you always give it a go.” Seriously Chris? You kicked out a Yoga instructor, who looks pretty dang good by the way? What were you thinking? Even she was aghast..”This never happens to me [I’m a yoga instructor for God’s sake]. Has he no idea how I could position myself? He must have made a mistake. I’m going back in…”
Mackenzie (X-6)
When I first saw Mackenzie, I thought of Juliette Lewis. Do they look alike? Mackenzie has children and a rather scattered mind and appearance. I think Chris would be great for her, but probably not vice versa. I’m not sure she has longevity on the show.
Megan (X-8/9)
Megan, what happened? If I look at the picture above, you knock(er) it out of the park. Where was that look on the show? It seemed that you had no make-up on and yet…you are a make-up artist. I liked your look but step up that game a little bit for future episodes.
Michelle (X-1)
Michelle’s already gone and she shouldn’t be. I mean…have a look at her picture above. That smile and beauty? How could that be gone after episode one given some that stayed? And, based on her profile, she’s all about making her man happy. Chris, my man, what are you thinking?
Nicole (X-1)
Every man has his type and I have a friend Eric who would love Nicole–he goes for girls with no pigment. So, a bit unfairly, I am not disenchanted with her departure. However, as an Irish-looking las, I bet she can throw back the drink and have a good time.
Nikki (X-4)
Nikki had just flown in from Peru and, if she was trying to impress Chris with this, she probably chose the wrong guy. I’m not sure he’s to into the international jet set type. Nikki’s a former NFL Cheerleader and makes quite a first impression. However, living on a farm with her Prince-Farming? I think not.
Reegan (X-1)
Yeah, Reegan and all of her fake heart and transplant tactics didn’t really cut it for me. She’s from Manhattan Beach, California and would certainly not be a good fit in Iowa. Chris made a good decision letting this one go.
Samantha (X-6)
Though she’s a fashion designer in LA, she has Midwestern roots in Indiana. Her hometown paper extols her virtues including mentions of her top 10 placement in the Miss Indiana USA contest. After years in LA and New York, could she head back to the farm?
Tandra (X-2)
Tandra’s tall; I like that–more woman to love. She says that her biggest date fear maybe “peeing my pants from laughing so hard or something” so she has got some humor going for her too. And, she’s from Utah so she may not object if you decide to add other women to the mix 🙂
Tara (X-2)
Ok, I have a Tara confession. I watched the second half of the episode before the first so I thought she was just a drunk. However, when I saw the first half, and her walking in in the skirt and cowboy boots, I reevaluated post-haste–she’s a keeper. But you can’t keep her the whole time or you’re just an enabler!
Tracy (X-3)
I liked Tracy, the fourth grade teacher from Florida and think she might be around for awhile. She balances wholesome and sexy very well. There is one red flag though. In her interview, she says”I’d like to be a romantic but I haven’t found a guy who’d be into that! I think I am one at heart though.” How do you hit 29 without a guy trying to be romantic with you? Raises questions…I’m just sayin’
Trina (X-3)
Trina earns the award for most unintended utterance. In her bachelorette interview, they asked if she could be any fruit or vegetable, which would she be. She answered that she would be a coconut because then…”No one would ever eat me!”
Whitney – Winner!
Whitney might be a good pick for Chris simply because she’s a Midwestern girl and would adore him for the rest of his life on the farm. The problem? She’s wearing a perfume called “Desperation”. She mentions in her profile that her greatest fear is “being alone”. Unfortunately, that fear creates behavior that will leave her, well…left alone.
Get your copy of his latest book entitled Obvious Conclusions, stories of a Midwestern emigrant influenced and corrupted by many years living in San Francisco and abroad. It just received its first outstanding review "...reminiscent of David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs" on Amazon UK.
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