On a recent visit to San Francisco, I learned that a large number of guys do Match.com (as well as Tinder obviously) to get dates.
These are not guys you would consider pathetic or lame but guys who could get dates in the real world. However, they get even more dates on Match.com and the rewards are rather…instantaneous.
On a Wednesday, my friends and I were setting up a round of golf. We called Jim to be the fourth player.
“Jim, can you play on Friday?”, we asked.
“Nope,” he responded, “I’m going out with this girl from Match.” Saturday? “Got a lunch date from Match and then going out with another one Saturday night.” Sunday? “Going on a picnic with a girl from Match.” After the picnic? “Got a dinner date.”
On Monday, perhaps because he was completely exhausted, we caught up with Jim. Over dinner, he told us about his FIVE Match.com dates over the weekend. Mission Accomplished was the overriding theme. Jim had sex with all 5 of them.
This got me thinking about many things not the least of which was Lucky Jim. To the girls who read this: I’m only joking. To the guys who read this…Lucky Jim 🙂
Match.com’s slogan is “Make Love Happen”. Jim made it happen 5 times in one weekend…it seems to be working. They even offer a guarantee: “Find someone special in 6 months or we’ll give you 6 months free.” Maybe Jim could get 6 months free if none of these girls were special. In fact, upon further questioning, Jim acknowledged that he may only be interested in going out with one of the five again.
This got me thinking about the girls on Match.com. Were they betrayed by Jim? Or, like Jim, were they just trying to get some action? And, perhaps, if they find “someone special” in the process, this would just be an added benefit?
There are many who will read this and think: “Your friend Jim is an a**hole!” If you think this, you are then saying that all of these girls are gullible, naïve, and perhaps rather stupid. You are agreeing with the stereotypes of the hopeless woman “looking for love” and the man out there just “looking to get laid”.
It is true: While Jim would settle down if he met someone very interesting, he is basically looking for a good time which usually includes a roll in the hay.
But what of these five women? Can they legitimately play the victim? Can they claim “Jim’s an a**hole” after sleeping with him on the first date? Or did each of them also have 4 other dates that weekend?
When asked “how many people have you slept with?”, we often hear that men will multiply the answer by a minimum of 2 and that women will divide by 3 or more, depending on circumstances. Perhaps each of these women are of the “or more” category.
Can you “make love happen” on Match.com? Absolutely. I have a female cousin who is happily married to a wonderful man she met on Match.com.
But perhaps Match.com should change their slogan to: “Get Laid While Looking for Love.”
Any thoughts or Match.com stories? Place them in the comments section below.
Other Links and Notes on Match.com Dating
After writing articles like this, I always search the Internet for interesting links that may also interest my readers. With a topic like this, people have quite a bit to say and the differing perspectives are quite entertaining. Here are several sites that comment on Match.com experiences:
- Does Match.com Work? (4 Surprising Stats): “Match Has Led to More Dates, Relationships, and Marriages Than Its Competitors.”
- What is your experience with Match.com: Yelp reviewers get into reviews of the online dating scene in New York.
- On this Consumer Affairs site, many people report positive reviews of Match.com…but certainly not all — some entertaining thoughts.
- A lot of folks feel that the 6 month guarantee on Match.com is bogus. I might wonder…if the $75 is such a big deal to you, how can you even afford to go on Match.com dates?
- In the Washington Post, we find an article entitled: Essay: The Disastrous Effects of Match.com and What Women Can Do About It. This woman laments what Match.com has done to women. Of course, like all the other women who are complaining, she is a “good-looking woman with a good career”. Hmmm.
Richard Cummings
Get your copy of his latest book entitled Obvious Conclusions, stories of a Midwestern emigrant influenced and corrupted by many years living in San Francisco and abroad. It just received its first outstanding review "...reminiscent of David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs" on Amazon UK.
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Comments 5
Interesting article Richard, I have tried online dating before with some mixed success, definitely nothing like Jim. I do think such services will become more popular as society becomes more complex and we have less time to look for someone to settle down with.
Golden Rule of Internet Dating: If you don’t get laid by the second date, there won’t be a third.
Here some rules of thumb for getting laid on Match.com. Sweeping generalizations I know, but it’s a strategy akin to betting on horseracing. I’d be curious to hear if anybody else agrees with these tips.
1. Avoid girls that have dogs. They are more in love with them and seem to getting daily tactile rewards from their pet. They can always go home and cuddle with the mangy beast, rather than you.
2. Part time moms. Use the “sometimes kids live at home” search criteria. Best case is if the father lives in the same town and has kids part of the week. A “Jeckyl and Hyde” phenenomenon occurs and they jump on you. Strangely, these women seem to be pretty comfortable having you in their home. Usually one date required before penetration takes place. They judge and trust or not trust quickly. If they trust you, you’re “in like Flynn.”
3. I’m a non-smoker, but I’ve had better success with the “occasional smokers” criteria. These are the ones that have a little wine and like to have fun.
4. Avoid age 25-32. I don’t know what it is, but this group is pretty tough to nail in a timely fashion.
5. Second date=score. If you have a second date, but no action, then definitely by third.
6. If they use the phrase in their profile, “if you’re looking to get laid, sex. etc..” then you have a good chance. If it’s on their mind that much, and enough to put in print, and they like you on the first date, then you stand a good chance of hitting a home run fairly soon.
Good luck Men. Score one for the team!
scene is very good to men, both single and divorced.
Looking for love online can be difficult sometimes, but if you find the right site for you, you are half way there. Before you know it, you’ll be dating Mr. Right!