online-dating-experience

Online Dating: Get Lovin’ While Looking for Love

Written by   (author of Obvious Conclusions)

On a recent visit to San Francisco, I learned that a large number of guys do Match.com to get dates.  These are not guys you would consider pathetic or lame but guys who could get dates in the real world.  However, they get even more dates on Match.com and the rewards are rather…instantaneous.

On a Wednesday, my friends and I were setting up a round of golf.  We called Jim to be the fourth player.

“Jim, can you play on Friday?”, we asked.

“Nope,” he responded, “I’m going out with this girl from Match.”  Saturday?  “Got a lunch date from Match and then going out with another one Saturday night.”  Sunday?  “Going on a picnic with a girl from Match.”  After the picnic?  “Got a dinner date.”

On Monday, perhaps because he was completely exhausted, we caught up with Jim.  Over dinner, he told us about his FIVE Match.com dates over the weekend.  Mission Accomplished was the overriding theme.  Jim had sex with all 5 of them.

This got me thinking about many things not the least of which was Lucky Jim.  To the girls who read this:  I’m only joking.  To the guys who read this…Lucky Jim :)

Match.com’s slogan is “Make Love Happen”.  Jim made it happen 5 times in one weekend…it seems to be working.  They even offer a guarantee:  “Find someone special in 6 months or we’ll give you 6 months free.”  Maybe Jim could get 6 months free if none of these girls were special.  In fact, upon further questioning, Jim acknowledged that he may only be interested in going out with one of the five again.

This got me thinking about the girls on Match.com.  Were they betrayed by Jim?  Or, like Jim, were they just trying to get some action?  And, perhaps, if they find “someone special” in the process, this would just be an added benefit?

There are many who will read this and think:  “Your friend Jim is an a**hole!”  If you think this, you are then saying that all of these girls are gullible, naïve, and perhaps rather stupid.  You are agreeing with the stereotypes of the hopeless woman “looking for love” and the man out there just “looking to get laid”.

It is true:  While Jim would settle down if he met someone very interesting, he is basically looking for a good time which usually includes a roll in the hay.

But what of these five women?  Can they legitimately play the victim?  Can they claim “Jim’s an a**hole” after sleeping with him on the first date?  Or did each of them also have 4 other dates that weekend?

When asked “how many people have you slept with?”, we often hear that men will multiply the answer by a minimum of 2 and that women will divide by 3 or more, depending on circumstances.  Perhaps each of these women are of  the “or more” category.

Can you “make love happen” on Match.com?  Absolutely.  I have a female cousin who is happily married to a wonderful man she met on Match.com.

But perhaps Match.com should change their slogan to:  “Get Laid While Looking for Love.”
tips for a better sex life
Any thoughts or Match.com stories?  Place them in the comments section below.

Other Links and Notes on Match.com Dating

After writing articles like this, I always search the Internet for interesting links that may also interest my readers.  With a topic like this, people have quite a bit to say and the differing perspectives are quite entertaining.  Here are several sites that comment on Match.com experiences:

  • Match.com dates too good to be true: This page is full of Match.com feedback.  There are not many “I met the person of my dream stories” but more “beware” stories.  In fact, one woman maintains a List of Match Players for Ladies to beware of.  Jim, you’re probably close to being on that list.
  • You can also find thousands of match.com experiences and stories on this site.
  • Here is an article about Why the online dating reviews are so negative.  Ironically, the article mentions that online dating is, in fact, not that bad but that people have outlandish expectations.
  • Lovelessgirl writes about her experiences on her online dating page.  She speaks of two experiences and says this about the first:  “Guy #1 was impotent. Now why in the hell would you not disclose something like that upfront?”  Seriously Lovelessgirl?  Would you divulge something so personal before knowing someone?  What if you had an unpleasant aroma down there?  Is that something that you would divulge?
  • Loveless girl mentions that she is “28, attractive, secure, and pretty much perfect. Then why haven’t I been able to find a normal guy? Does he even exist?”  I have trouble believing that a pretty much perfect 28 year old cannot find a great guy.  Could someone ask her out and tell us if she has these qualities?
  • Karl has forsaken match.com for a site out of Austin called consumating.com.  Perhaps, match.com should buy them since consummating seems to be the bulk of what is done on Match.com.  (I tried to go to consumating.com but it redirects you to a site called help.com, which may be indicative of what the visitors need most.)
  • Datingretard speaks about one of her dates as a “Bangladesh version of Mighty Mouse” and provides suggestions to would-be suitors.  This site is chalk full of match.com experiences.
  • A lot of folks feel that the 6 month guarantee on Match.com is bogus.  I might wonder…if the $75 is such a big deal to you, how can you even afford to go on Match.com dates?
  • There is a class action lawsuit against Match.com because, the suit alleges, they pay employees to woo customers when said customers are near their renewal period.
  • Jeremy Stocking writes about his first Match.com experience in his article Match.com, Really?.
  • In the Washington Post, we find an article entitled:  Essay: The Disastrous Effects of Match.com and What Women Can Do About It.  This woman laments what Match.com has done to women.  Of course, like all the other women who are complaining, she is a good-looking woman with a good career”.  Hmmm.
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Richard Cummings

Richard Cummings is writer, traveler, and web content developer.

Get your copy of his latest book entitled Obvious Conclusions, stories of a Midwestern emigrant influenced and corrupted by many years living in San Francisco and abroad. It just received its first outstanding review "...reminiscent of David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs" on Amazon UK.
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Richard CummingsOnline Dating: Get Lovin’ While Looking for Love

Comments 8

  1. Crian

    Interesting article Richard, I have tried online dating before with some mixed success, definitely nothing like Jim. I do think such services will become more popular as society becomes more complex and we have less time to look for someone to settle down with.

  2. Vernon

    Here some rules of thumb for getting laid on Match.com. Sweeping generalizations I know, but it’s a strategy akin to betting on horseracing. I’d be curious to hear if anybody else agrees with these tips.

    1. Avoid girls that have dogs. They are more in love with them and seem to getting daily tactile rewards from their pet. They can always go home and cuddle with the mangy beast, rather than you.

    2. Part time moms. Use the “sometimes kids live at home” search criteria. Best case is if the father lives in the same town and has kids part of the week. A “Jeckyl and Hyde” phenenomenon occurs and they jump on you. Strangely, these women seem to be pretty comfortable having you in their home. Usually one date required before penetration takes place. They judge and trust or not trust quickly. If they trust you, you’re “in like Flynn.”

    3. I’m a non-smoker, but I’ve had better success with the “occasional smokers” criteria. These are the ones that have a little wine and like to have fun.

    4. Avoid age 25-32. I don’t know what it is, but this group is pretty tough to nail in a timely fashion.

    5. Second date=score. If you have a second date, but no action, then definitely by third.

    6. If they use the phrase in their profile, “if you’re looking to get laid, sex. etc..” then you have a good chance. If it’s on their mind that much, and enough to put in print, and they like you on the first date, then you stand a good chance of hitting a home run fairly soon.

    Good luck Men. Score one for the team!

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  6. Sally

    Looking for love online can be difficult sometimes, but if you find the right site for you, you are half way there. Before you know it, you’ll be dating Mr. Right!

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