I just accidentally stumbled upon a story of the 27 year old virgin man.
I noticed that a post that I had written about the sexual consent form was getting a lot of hits from a certain webpage and I decided to check it out. The webpage was titled “I’m got tired of waiting until marriage so I started having sex at age 27.”
Obviously, one would assume, given the title of the page, that this was written by a girl. But it wasn’t…a guy wrote it.
My first thought was really? You exist? The 40 Year Old Virgin was a movie my friend, not a call to action or a challenge of any kind.
The person who wrote the post, who goes by the name moneymoron (should we remove the money part?), states:
For various reasons I decided that while I liked going out with girls and making out with them just fine, I wanted to save actual sex for marriage. I managed to make it to age 27 before some stuff changed in my life and I decided I wanted to start having sex. That was 6 months ago.
I applaud people’s decision to maintain control of their own sexuality, especially when their young…like 15. But 27? A 27 year old virgin man? Well, it’s unique, that’s for sure.
Anyway, our 27 year old virgin laments the fact that too many women have STDs and is thinking about re-virginizing himself. Proudly, our virgin says: “I had myself tested for everything right when I made this decision and scored a clean bill of health.” I could have saved you money, virgin man. You do not need an STD test if you have never had sex.
Be that as it may my virgin man, I think you have hit the risk of waiting. Just imagine if you had started earlier. Perhaps, you may have met one of these girls when she was a freshmen in college and a virgin like you. You could have walked down that aisle together as virgins and lived a happy STD-free live together.
But now, my virgin friend, you waited too long. That fresh, college freshmen, is now a well-laid women who’d sooner reveal a tummy tuck than an STD.
Which brings us back to your original statement: Why did you wait?
You say “for various reasons”. Virgin man, that is not a solid enough explanation. You go on to say that you liked going out with girls and “making out with them just fine”. Making out with them just fine?
My virgin friend–especially since you’re a virgin!, there is absolutely no greater joy in the world than the sensual lips of a women. If it was only “just fine”, I have some news for you:
You are batting for the wrong team.
Get your copy of his latest book entitled Obvious Conclusions, stories of a Midwestern emigrant influenced and corrupted by many years living in San Francisco and abroad. It just received its first outstanding review "...reminiscent of David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs" on Amazon UK.
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