Are you addicted to Facebook?
Ooops, forgive me, what addict knows of their addiction? Well, as expressed in the 12 steps of addiction recovery, the first step is admitting your problem.
Facebook addicts have modified the traditional AA twelve steps recovery program by substituting the word “Alcohol” with “Facebook” as you see in this modified Facebook addiction declaration example below:
We admitted we were powerless over Facebook—that our lives had become unmanageable!
As always, I am here to help. If you find that you say, “Yes, that’s me” to two or more of the items below, it might be time to admit your Facebook addiction and seek immediate counseling!
10 Signs You Are Addicted To Facebook
You get anxiety over how many Facebook friends you have and you get envious of others who have more friends than you do.
If this is true for you, read no further. You are definitely a Facebook addict!
Your update status includes what you had to eat.
Seriously, x-friend? You did that once, then again, and, on the third time, I de-friended you. A burrito made your little tummy hurt? Poor you, burritos come with a risk and that’s simply one of them.
You spend more time posting a picture of something on Facebook than you spent with that something.
When you are in Buenos Aires, run out the door of the hostel to take a picture of the closest monument, then run back to the hostel to paste it on Facebook, you’re definitely a Facebook addict!
In your mind, someone does not truly exist until they exist as your friend on Facebook.
I seriously had a relatively close friend tell me: “We’re not really true friends yet because we are not friends on Facebook”…and I think she was serious. She’s a Facebook addict and actually takes pride in it.
You change your profile picture more than once a week.
Really? Friend, you are changing your profile picture like every day. You have an addiction and need help. This simply involves going outside and enjoying the day…without taking a picture of your day outside and posting it as your new Facebook profile picture.
They cut off your Facebook access at work and nobody else’s. Or worse, they cut off everybody’s Facebook access because of you.
Fortunately for you addict, there is a solution. Read how to get on Facebook at work and then get help soon. If not, your excessive Facebooking may soon get you the boot!
When you’re on vacation, you go out of your way to find Facebook access.
I know; I know. You simply have to update everyone about your awesome vacation. But do you want some reality tossed your way my little Facebook addict? Here goes: Your friends will survive without your little “vacation updates”. The better question is: Will you?
Since you began using Facebook, you have developed Carpel Tunnel Syndrome.
Wikipedia defines Carpel Tunnel This Way: “Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is considered by some to be a form of repetitive stress injury, and as such, is caused by repetitive motions, most famously from long hours of Facebook use. What should you do about this? Fortunately, you can visit the Facebook Carpel Tunnel Page!
You constantly detag photos of yourself so that only the good ones are left. Yes, Facebook Vanity = Facebook Addiction.
Don’t pretend. You know exactly what I am talking about. And, if your Facebook vanity is really extreme, you post and tag ugly pictures of your friends so that you look even better. Get your Facebook ego in check and go untag that ugly picture of me that you just tagged! Please?
You have Facebook open while your reading this article!
Get your copy of his latest book entitled Obvious Conclusions, stories of a Midwestern emigrant influenced and corrupted by many years living in San Francisco and abroad. It just received its first outstanding review "...reminiscent of David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs" on Amazon UK.
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