What Is Intuition in Relationships

Written by   (author of Obvious Conclusions)

head vs heart

The role of intuition in relationships between males and females is unrealized.

I began writing an article entitled “Should Women Travel For Their Men” when I came across the word intuition and found that people were wondering when, where, and if,  intuition should factor into their relationships.

Men are often accused of intellectualizing matters of the heart.  Conversely, women are oft accused by these very men of never utilizing their mind when it comes to relationship issues.  It’s a common relationship abyss that couples encounter.

I remember times in my life when I have intellectualized relationships too much.  In one of my past relationships, my girlfriend would often get jealous.  She doubted my fidelity because she thought I was flirt.  To her, flirting, without question, led to infidelity.

Nothing could have been further from the truth.  I remember several nights when I was out on the town with my friends who would comment about an attractive women:  “Oh, wouldn’t you love to go there?”  I would respond:  “Yes, she’s attractive but I have it so great at home, I would never need to go there.”

I could not see how my girlfriend could be so jealous when I thought as I did.  I was simply thinking with my mind:  I’m so into you.  I would never be with anybody else.  It is such an easy, logical, concept.

I did not factor in  that she had been grossly betrayed by her x-boyfriend, who cheated on her all the time.  To her, boy equaled cheater.  No amount of logic, or proof, was going to intervene.  Her heart told her all men were cheaters. 

Intuition in Relationships

Our hearts and our minds often get in the way of something so valuable to us:  INTUTION.  Intuition is that one asset readily available to us and we never use intuition  in our romantic relationships.  It’s potential is unrealized.

We’ve all heard the term:  He/She can’t see the forest through the trees.  The forest is clarity;  intuition can lead you to this clarity.   The trees are all that extra gunk that prevents you from making sound decisions in relationships:  the pettiness, the jealousies, the squabbles.

Intuition is that perfect blend of the head and the heart and will lead you to sound relationship decisions. 

Then, why don’t’ we listen to intuition?

Intuition is too quick, as accessible as your next breath.  If you listen to intuition, you may feel like you have not put in your time.  Re-read any of your therapeutic relationship books–they all boil down to one thing:  your intuition.  (It just takes them 300 pages and the price of the book to get you there.)

The main reason, however, that people do not readily listen to intuition?  It frequently provides the answer that people do not want to hear. 

As I considered the article, “Should Women Travel for Their Men?”, I was thinking of Laura, a friend of mine.  Laura’s boyfriend was offered a job in another country and he asked her if she would go with him.  Her initial impulse was to say no.  She had a better job in the country they lived and he seemed to not have a care in the world as to how these travels would affect her.  But then she started pondering, making lists, considering that the relationship would probably end if she did not go…

She went…and returned 1 year later without her boyfriend.  She then had to work hard to re-create the life that she had left.    

Had she listened to her initial impulse, she would not have suffered this year of misery, this year of trying to fit a circle into a square, this year of trying to force a relationship that wasn’t meant to be.

There’s another name for that initial impulse:  INTUITION. 

It speaks the truth.  Now all you have to do is listen!

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Richard Cummings

Richard Cummings is writer, traveler, and web content developer.

Get your copy of his latest book entitled Obvious Conclusions, stories of a Midwestern emigrant influenced and corrupted by many years living in San Francisco and abroad. It just received its first outstanding review "...reminiscent of David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs" on Amazon UK.
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Comments 2

  1. Chip

    Yeah … I started listening to intuition a long time ago; I’m a lot happier as a guy because of it (monk, bachelor for life, etc…). I also have no problem with that chasm between the heart and the head. I follow my heart when it leads, and my head when it needs. (One of my problems is that I’ve never followed my cock, or let my “dick head” think for me … and most women don’t like intellectuals, but want some dumb guy to f* them all the time – truthfully – something closer to the “heart” than the head.)

    In any case … intuition, or whatever people want to call it … is a key to being happy in (and out of) relationships. If people don’t like what others’ have to say, relationship (intimate or friends) or not … they’re not worth your time and aren’t really worth the effort of a relationship.

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