As a somewhat decent uncle, I offered to take my 9 and 10 year old niece and nephew to see a movie. They chose Star Wars: The Clone Wars.
I am not a Star Wars addict, have not seen any of the new ones, but I remember thoroughly enjoying Star Wars in my youth: Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi. I probably saw each more than once.
When that new one came out several years back, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, people at my office took time off work to go see it. I had no desire. Over time, I had developed a taste for movies more real-life based, with real-life people. A great drama, such as The Shawshank Redemption or a character study like Sex, Lies, and Videotape, intrigues me much more now than some outer space adventure. Have I sufficiently aged that the Star Wars phenomenon was in my rearview mirror?
I like to think not. And so, with a new hope for re-connecting with my old desires, I took my niece and nephew to see Star Wars: The Clone Wars.
This was my first thought: You have got to be kidding me!
This was my exact thought when I went to see Sin City with Jessica Alba. Not only did it star Jessica Alba (like most guys, I’ll see any movie with Jessica Alba or Scarlett Johansson, regardless of plot, review, or any other tangential issue), it also had other great actors and was named after Las Vegas. How could it go wrong?
With CGI, that’s how! Computer Generated Imagery! Do people really enjoy a movie with no real, actual people in the movie? Where is today’s version of Harrison Ford playing Han Solo, Mark Hamill playing Luke Skywalker, or especially, Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia Organa? Today’s versions are all voices relegated to the background as the “actor” is some silly looking CGI character.
So, when Star Wars: The Clone Wars began, my extended thought was: “You have got to be kidding me. I have just paid $7 for a video game. And I do not even get to play…I only get to watch!”
I may have walked out of the theatre had I not been with my niece and nephew. But, as good uncle, I decided to suffer through it, have an open mind, and try to enjoy my $7 video game, spectator experience.
The thin plot seemed to be just a vehicle to make a seventh Star Wars movie that would earn untold amounts of money. The good guys and the bad guys are scheming to win the alliance of Jabba the Hutt, who they both need on their respective sides to win the war in the Outer Rim. Guess who wins?
Not you the viewer. The Star Wars of yesterday are gone.
If you’re thinking of seeing Star Wars: The Clone Wars, go play a video game instead. At least you’ll get to participate.
Get your copy of his latest book entitled Obvious Conclusions, stories of a Midwestern emigrant influenced and corrupted by many years living in San Francisco and abroad. It just received its first outstanding review "...reminiscent of David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs" on Amazon UK.
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